More Ashes Less Stars for Dance of Stars and Ashes

I am pretty disappointed. I was so looking forward to Dance of Stars and Ashes by Nisha J. Tuli (the second in the Nightmare Quartet series). But it really was just “blah” – not terrible, but not great. Definitely not what the first book was.

This was…ok.

First, I will start with saying that I listen to this, I didn’t read it. I have limited experience with audiobooks (really only have listened to Harry Potter before) and I was reminded why. Not only did the female narrator try – very unsuccessfully – to do deep/male voices but she was soooo slow (I played with the speed of the reply but that made the issues the narrator had with voicing deep voices even worse) and so often didn’t have the right tone (based on they way the author would then describe the way the words were said) and her pronunciation, while likely more correct than the voice in my head, meant that I didn’t really know who she was talking about most of the first half-a-dozen chapters. So, not likely to listen to anything else with this narrator. And, likely to not listen to many other audiobooks. Except Jim Dale’s Harry Potter because those are just awesome.

That said, this installment was missing so much of what made the first book so amazing. It wasn’t filled with the same wonderful and luscious descriptions of things. It was missing the flowery descriptions of the setting and clothing and food and all the color that came from those descriptions. All that wonderment – up in smoke. What’s left? Ashes to fill the gap. And those ashes were made up of some sex and a lot of repetition as to how superficial our main protagonist apparently actually is.

While the gap was filled with sex, the superficial whining and repeated (too many to count) uses of the words “penetrating” and “beautiful” was a lot to take. And all Zarya ever saw in Sabin was that he was “so beautiful”. They sat across the table from each other and his gaze was penetrating, but he is so beautiful. He is such a jerk to lead her on but he is so beautiful. He yells at her and snaps at her but he is so beautiful. Get the point…?

There was no relationship development and it really detracted from my opinion of Zarya as a character. Zarya also wasn’t the kick ass heroine that the author self-describes as being who she writes about. Shure Zarya has some moments and is powerful but she is a petulant child who is more 14 than the adult she tells Row she is “now”. I am really hoping for a return to what made the first book so wonderful.

If you can set aside the whining and really crass use of some language (which doesn’t bother me per se, but the use here felt really out of place, like with the details around some of the sex scenes – which again don’t bother me but I didn’t think they were very well written and I would call them crass not sensual so I really could have done without them), the plot itself and the story, when that was the focus, was still good. So, I do still want to read the next installment. Dance of Stars and Ashes gets only 2 stars and a big bucket of ashes.

 

The Frustrating and the Stupid. (Oh, and let’s not forget the Revolting.)

This installment was… frustrating.  Yes, that’s probably the best description for about three-quarters of this Dulcie adventure.  Downright stupid fits not quite the other quarter.  Because there is a dash of revolting thrown in that absolutely must be accounted for.  Revolting.  Yes, that is correct.  You aren’t reading a typo or a misstatement.  But I will get to that in a few.

First, the frustrating.  The bad writing is starting to surface.  I am not paying attention to things like the active vs passive voice switches, the run-on sentences, the bad grammar (because while bad, it feels like natural speech versus a well written book so it actually, to me, reads ok if I think of these as little plays in my mind and all the words are just part of a natural conversation).  No, I am talking about the characters.  Dulcie seemed like a pretty cool girl in the first book.  And she was even better in the second.  The third book didn’t add to her coolness factor, but it didn’t detract either.  This one, however? Oh my goodness is she a blubbering idiot.  She is delusional, whiney, self-contradictory (at one point she thinks that she never gave up fighting to get out of her situation, but caving to each and every demand and command isn’t exactly fighting) and she becomes so irritating.  Not to mention the story itself – her lies and that Knight knew but was lying too and all the manufactured drama/stress because both characters are liars… well, I can only take so much of that internal struggle from our “heroine” before it gets old.  Really, really old.  Like ancient Babylonian times, Noah’s Ark kind of old.

The stupid.  Dulcie went from being a pretty with-it law enforcement agent to a complete moron.  Zero to stupid in less than 10 seconds, flat.  The Flash has nothing on her.  That’s not great character development.  That’s exactly the opposite of what I want to read.  Had she started out a walking talking potato it would be one thing.  But she is supposed to be this kick-ass regulator and she was smart enough to eventually figure out the deal with Quill in the first book.  While here, Johhny Bravo is an Einstein in comparison.  When characters don’t learn from their mistakes, it can be frustrating.  When they are as idiotic as Dulcie is in the book… stupid is too smart.  How can she not think of any options – none, zero, zilch.  I thought of 15 within seconds and I am really not all that creative.  I know that there needs to be some sort of tension or obstacle, but we could have gotten to the same end point in a number of other, totally valid and less moronic ways.  The character didn’t need to become a walking lobotomy.

More stupid.  The title.  A play on Wuthering Heights, I get that.  But where, oh where, is the relationship?  Other than a play on the title just to play with the title.  I was wondering this with the prior installments, but here it was too much to continue to ignore. There were also a number of book-to-book inconsistencies that I picked up here.  For example, she had returned from the Netherworld a day after meeting her father, which was mere hours after being at Gabe’s where she took a shower.  But here, her return, she says she hadn’t taken a shower in Hades knows how long.  Ok, this isn’t exactly plot risking inconsistency, but there were a fair number of them here and I wonder if the author and/or editor just fell asleep at the helm.  Lazy and… you guessed it… stupid!

Even more stupid.  While we needed to see how the “relationship” between Dulcie and her father was going to impact things – and they were for sure going to impact things – was there a race going on that someone failed to mention?  The speed with which this story takes place, from Dulcie getting home to getting her job back to ending the way it did, remember the Flash?   This element of the pace makes him look like a tortoise.  A man who is supposed to have been a master criminal and all around tyrant for at least a hundred years can’t take a few days or weeks to give his new plant time to get settled and work through a workable solution?  Tosh!  Poor planning on the author’s part if you ask me.

Then Dulcie’s libido needs some help.  Sure, in the PNR genre the libido is the elephant in the room and characters are often overcome by it, unable to silence their inner voice telling them how bad they want to jump bones and eventually the fail to control their urges, heating up pages (or chapters depending on how good the author is).  And often, characters think the coupling isn’t smart (ok, always not just often – but this is where the couple’s struggle to be together, the he’s too good for me, I am too damaged, I can’t… comes from) and that tension or obstacle is necessary to the plot.  When done right, it makes the steamy scenes steamier and the happy endings happier.  When done right, the reader gets to sigh a sigh of relief that the characters have coupled and beaten what-ever was keeping them apart.  But when done wrong, the characters are stupid, whiny, self-centered annoying reflections, with the emotional range of a teaspoon.    But the teaspoon is Nicky Ferrante compared to Dulcie.  While her libido puts Charlie Harper to shame – as absolutely all reason and any teeny tiny sense of intelligence disappears instantly every time Dulcie gets too close to Knight since she automatically stops thinking even semi-coherent thoughts about anything other than lust.  Dulcie is the poster child for Lust.  And it became really tedious and boring in this installment.  Especially given the revolting – and unfortunately, her inability to do anything other than lust after Knight, while being self contradictory in the same thoughts doesn’t appear solved even at the end of book 5.

The revolting.  This was the worst part of this book.  By far.  The cliffhangers in this and the last book sucked.  The fact that I idea I might get a slightly more sexy version of the cozy mystery was burst worse than on over-inflated balloon sucked.  All of the stupidity and frustration noted above sucked.  But what sucked the worst was **spoiler ahead**  the scene towards the end between our 2 main characters – Knight, who I was really starting to like, and Idiot.  Where they are fighting and he goes from being a good guy to a rapist.  Yep.  He does.  Just like that.  He is all over Dulcie, she is telling him no repeatedly, and he reads her body language and decides that she doesn’t mean no when she says it, she really means yes.  So he forces himself on her.  It doesn’t matter that she eventually says ok – it never should have gotten that far with these characters.    I have read books with rape elements or scenes.  And typically there is a reason for the scene.  Here – I think the author just flipped her lid.  And, the way the characters handled the situation subsequently, made me ill.  I had to put the book down and re-read a number of times to make sure I really read what I thought I did.  (Compounding this is the fact that in the following book, which I will review in the next few days, the author even does some victim shaming.  That too was revolting.)  And the larger lesson of it’s not the victim’s fault and no means no, no matter what (I counted 6 times she explicitly said no or stop or don’t do this and a number of others where she had that thought) and that rape isn’t the same as passionate sex (which is one of the explanations for the whole thing later) and that no man can read the mind or in this case body of another to change no to consent.  Never mind that she eventually, begrudgingly, says she wants to have sex – since it is after he has already penetrated her.  His response at one point to why he is forcing himself on her is “because I can.”  WTF???  Let that sink in.  Is my revulsion misplaced?  The more I think about it, the more revolted I am.  And the more disappointed in the author I am (especially after reading Malice in Wonderland, by the way… but I won’t spoil that one in this review).

This is NOT ok.  Glossing over this by the characters, is NOT ok.  Ending the book on this note, between these characters, is NOT ok.  Turning the hero into a monster like this, for no apparent reason, is NOT ok.

So where do I stand?  I definitely need to reclassify these from the mystery to the PNR.  I am terribly disappointed that the individual mystery per book is not the way this series went and it took this ugly dark twisty turn.  And I read book 5 (Malice in Wonderland).  Not because I was really psyched to after the way 4 ended (and that is such a shame because I was really enjoying the series up until this point) but because I was curious as to how the author would handle things and I felt like I couldn’t let it end on such a sour note.  We’ll talk about my disappointment and more of the frustrating and the stupid in the next Dulcie review.

 

Rough Play and a Little Rough around the Edges

I am a rough reviewer.  That is, I am usually a pretty critical reviewer of books.  And, I can enjoy a book thoroughly yet still be pretty critical in my review.  I had a friend recently tell me that given all the books I read every year, I have earned the right to be critical since I have the context needed to discern a good book from a great one and a bad book from a horrible one.  I say this to set the stage for what has been a really tough review to write.  I’ve said before that I consider it tremendously brave to write something and let others read it and open yourself up to all sorts of criticism. In the same review I also noted that reading books is kind of like eating – what I love other might hate and vice-versa.  And so the things I liked and the things I think need improvement here might be just the opposite for another reader.  It was a rough review for me to even conceptualize.  It is with mixed emotions that I gave Masterpiece by Jillian Verne a 3 star rating on goodreads (remember folks, 3 on goodreads is a “like it” rating).  Because it left me smiling and looking forward to book #2.  But, in the words of the immortal Dr. Who, “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”

What am I getting at?  I can totally enjoy a book and still be critical.  I think movies would demonstrate this “theory” better.  Think of  a movie that you enjoyed to watch – one that was fun, entertaining, you might watch it often, you might own it on DVD, and you love to cuddle up with your flannel sheets and a bowl of popcorn and you just feel better, happier, when the end credits role.  There are a ton of movies in my library that fit that bill.  But… it’s certainly no Oscar winner.  It hasn’t won any critical acclaim.  It might even score poorly on rotten tomatoes.  It’s a romp, it’s not trying to send a deep message about society, its not telling the true story of someone battling a great injustice at his own personal expense – it’s no Schindler’s List or King’s Speech.  It’s just a fun 90 minutes that makes you smile a ton and laugh pretty often.  I would analogize to Twilight (book or move I guess) but for fear of offending all the Twi-hards out there… so, instead, for me, it’s like Hudson Hawk.  That’s a movie that I once heard Bruce Willis (on Letterman, I think) say he doesn’t even like to admit he was in.  But I sing along when they rob the museum singing swinging on a star and I laugh when the nun does the “you must pay the rent” gag.  I love to watch Minerva and Darwin in the Board room talking about world domination.  But I certainly wouldn’t call it worthy of winning any writing awards or anything like that.  It’s fun but if I wanted to be a movie critic I am sure I could find lots to critique.  

So, does that help set the stage?

Brief summary of the plot for those who aren’t familiar.  Juli, is a promising young artist.  She becomes the apprentice to Nicolai, a famous and domineering artist.  They fall for each other.  But he is a Dom and she, a natural sub.  He wants to bring her into his life and lifestyle, which includes her induction into the Order, a society of like-minded folks who are all rich and powerful.  The head of the Order doesn’t like Juli, due to something in her mother’s past.  When Juli gets formally introduced at the Order’s annual and famous hedonistic event, will she be accepted?  There’s lots of “rough play” in the BDSM world we see here.

There is promise here. It was a very good debut. But it was a debut. There are a few things that I expect will improve with future installments and I look forward to them.  And there are things that I would change, because after all, I am critical when reviewing.  But, that said – I enjoyed it.  I had a smile on my face while reading it and I will read it again.

The author has demonstrated an ability to not be afraid of some explicit and graphic detail. That was wonderful. All too often I read debut novels where the author is clearly holding back.  They can sometimes be skittish of all sorts of things – from sex scenes to necessary plot points to character development that might give us Creepy Rob Lowe instead of Handsome Rob Lowe.  That is not the case here. Is there room for refinement, sure. But no book is perfect. There was a clear plan for the characters and we are given a great introduction to a number of characters who can easily serve as the next few installments, without feeling like the characters were afterthoughts merely for the purpose of providing the fodder for the next book. Instead, they served purposes beyond just being there ready for an installment of their own. I loved that aspect. We are given some back story for many of them so that it should be easy to nurture an attachment, and thus be left clamoring for an installment dedicated to each of them. Sabin, Jared, Dorian – all have great potential and I was left wanting more from each.

A big motivator in reading from this genre is the anticipation of reading a well written juicy scene or five. And there was a good bit of juice. While I am a little used to seeing some of this a little earlier in this particular genre (versus what is more generally classified as romance), it’s not like I was waiting for long. And each scene left me enraptured in what I was reading.  But, there were moments when the scenes needed a little help with the continuity.  I sometimes was reading a scene, trying to picture the characters in the throws of passion and I had to stop to re-read.  And I needed to re-read because I couldn’t follow how the characters ended up the way the were.  It was as if there were a few frames missing from the scene of the movie – I still got the gist, but I knew something had skipped a beat and was ever so slightly off too.  And while I am not squeamish when it comes to the descriptors for human anatomy, there was an interesting juxtaposition of hard core terms with very soft core terms and descriptions so that when the harder terms popped up they felt a little startling or unexpected.  What I mean is that there isn’t enough balance between the two to make it more natural to read both types of descriptions together.  And there were moments when I felt that I wanted more.  Erotica, to me anyway, isn’t the less is more leaving room for a reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks.  Instead, you should be getting the gritty details in all their glory.  There were moments when this too felt a little imbalanced – too much and not enough details at the same time.  This, I think will improve, the more experience the author gets at writing these scenes.  I will note that this book is a particular brand of erotica, one that I don’t read much of.  I read books with elements or scenes of this but it isn’t often I read something dedicated solely to this type of play.  You need to be ready for it.  It can’t be easy to write and the author clearly didn’t let that intimidate.  And that, despite what might seem like criticism here, is really a compliment.  I loved that there was no bashfulness here.  When it was necessary to use certain words, they were used.  No pussy-footing around (pun really not intended!).  I wish that was the case with more of what I read.

Clearly the author had a vision for the story and her characters. And she executed on that vision. I was not left wondering where the story was going.  This is a good thing.  No, a great thing, in this genre.  I don’t read these books for the mystery.  I read them for the, ahem, relationship between the characters.  Sure, if it’s a mystery that is driving the plot forward and getting us from chapter-one to chapter-the-end great.  But that’s secondary to the other elements, in my mind anyway.  I don’t want to have to pretend to be Sherlock Holmes while reading this genre (although reading while sitting next to Benedict’s Sherlock would be ok! **wink, wink**).  The little bit of mystery here was ok as it moved the plot in a forward direction so that there was some meaning in things, besides just the coupling activities.  It was totally guessable, but since I want it to be secondary, that’s fine.  The author did a splendid job of moving the characters froward, developing them, and even made Juli pretty complex (which is what made her revelations about the world she gets wrapped up in so satisfying).

And the little bit of mystery, while guessable, was still enough of a mystery to be satisfying.  It wasn’t the same old story with the same old motivators or results.  Don’t get me wrong, guy gets the girl.  But is that really a surprise or mystery in this genre?  The way that whole thing plays out was well plotted and crafted and while it didn’t get a lot of page time, it didn’t feel rushed or just thrown in.  It was secondary, but it wasn’t a throw-away.  It was well integrated into the story and well positioned to provide exactly the right back-ground and motivator for a number of characters.  Well done!

But, I said I am pretty critical, right.  So, we must move on to the bad things part of this book.  Ok, so my first issue is merely a personal pet-peeve.  I totally get it if other readers don’t mind this part – for me, its like fingernails on a blackboard.  I don’t like it when authors write accents phonetically.  Here’s my logic/problem – our Scot’s brogue is written phonetically but the other characters are French, speaking a mix of English and French (although more English and I will get to that in a minute).  Why don’t Nicolai and Juli “speak” phonetically when they are speaking English?  French folks speaking English usually have an accent, why don’t we get that from them?  If we are to assume that really, they are speaking French and we are getting the English version (and hence, no accent), then why do we get so much en Francais, in italics – to draw attention to the French –  nonetheless?   Give me English (sans accent) non-phoenitically written or give me the accent!  I don’t want a mix of both.  And, in addition to the previous comment about the smattering of Francais, if I am going to get it, it needs to be translated or so common I don’t need it translated.  There was a very inconsistent mix of what is translated versus what’s obvious versus what left me wishing my 6 years of French lessons weren’t so long ago.  Is this a big deal?  Absolutely not, but it is a small something that I don’t like.  (Aside:  I think this is an area where self-editing and services like smashwords hurts the author; a professional editor might have raised this, or at least the consistency of translation issue.)

The second thing:  more.  There were places where I needed more.  More plot earlier on.  More background on the Order.  More time with the Order.  More subtlety in some of the key plot points.  More steamy scenes.  More of how the characters fell in love.  More detailed background on the characters to understand them better.  More Jared. Telling me that Juli wrote a journal but not really sharing what was in it, didn’t give me enough background to identify with her and really like her.  Instead, I found nit-picky character flaws to focus on.  Telling me that Nicolai had a father like he had, but not really telling me what “like” means made it harder to think of him as much more than a controlling jerk.  I saw a review note that fans of 50 Shades would love this book – but I don’t think it was intended to be like 50 Shades and I don’t think the parallels were intended.  But there were parallels.  In fact, as I thought about including my version of the synopsis in this review I found it even harder not to see parallels.  And the parallels distracted from the potential of this story.  I am not saying the books and/or stories are the same – but I can definitely see what seems to be a formula forming.  And, add to it that this author clearly has a better grasp on the English language, grammar, and writing in general.  If you are looking for a 50 Shades-like book, I would say this isn’t it because the writing of this is phenomenally better than 50 Shades.  I think more of the stuff I noted above would have eliminated most of the parallels.

So where does that leave me?  I am looking forward to Paradise, Jacques’ book.  And I hope that the debut is the beginning of a successful career writing books that I expect (hope?) will see these little bugs fine-tuned as the series continues.  I am guessing that the rough edges will be refined in Paradise and we will get smoother edges and lots more juicy center!

What next?

I am stuck.  I have never felt this at a loss when it comes to what to read next.  My to be read pile is an entire book case, not just a pile.  And unfortunately, there are a number of books on that shelf that I want to read because they are the next in a series, but I don’t want to read because I just am not looking forward to reading them.

Why?  Well, various reasons and they are different for each book.  I have no desire to read some of the stuff, not because the series are bad (although there are some that are not good but need to be read anyway, I am just saying that the reasons for not wanting to read isn’t solely based on my opinion of their quality), but there are aspects that are making it hard for me to be enthused.  So, any votes for what should be next?

I am taking votes for the following (and putting the pros and cons with each):

• The King by JR Ward (adored this series when it started; now, not so much.  I can only take so much “shan’t” and mayhap”.  But I have been told the steam gets turned back up to the standards set by the first few installments.)
• Untold by Sarah Rees Brennan (I forgot to do a page for the first!!  I can’t remember what I don’t remember!  I remember thinking it was intriguing but it didn’t strike enough of a cord for me to remember.)
• Covenant by Sabrina Benulis (I did a page and it was so awful and convoluted I still don’t know what happened in the first; I am hoping that maybe the second will help me make sense of the first.)
• Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (first in a series that has a synopsis that seems promising; some of the reviews on goodreads are scathing and scare me.)
• Tempest Reborn by Nicole Peeler (Loved this series at the start; the last book was ok and I just don’t feel motivated or invested in how Jane ends things.)
• Ghosts of the Falls by Sarah Gilman (digging her other stuff lately; seems to be a stand alone and I favor series.)
• Weather Witch by Shannon Delany (cool because it’s set in Philadelphia but not usually a fan of stuff that is alternative history)
• Alchemy by KJ Wignall (I remember loving the first but I think I need a break from the YA vampire)
• Devil may Care by Patricia Eimer (first was hysterical; think this is the only other one in this series and that’s a bummer)

I will note, I need some suggestions – to fit in with the following books: Vampire Chef series by Sarah Zettel, Strange Neighbors (Ashlyn Chase), Bewitching Mystery (Madelyn Alt) and Accidental Friends (Dakota Cassidy).  These are all a little mystery, maybe romance but maybe not, and a bunch of good laughs.  Any other suggestions for series in this vein will be appreciated!

Where in the world is Gena Showalter?

I mean the old Gena Showalter!!!  The one who wrote heart pounding, flushed-cheek inducing, graphically detailed steamy scene writer, Gena Showalter.  Does anyone know?  Can we find her and bring her back?  Please?

Some say she has found religion and that is why her books have lost that steamy goodness, and you can certainly see more theology in the books, but I am not sure I buy it.  Why would someone drift from the steam into violence because of religion? Ok.  I just wrote than and then realized that maybe that’s a stupid question given how often the “love thy neighbor” religion really is a facade for violence, discrimination, and all sorts of other bad things that have lead to more wars on earth than anything…  but, leaving politics aside – I miss the author I used to love to read!!!

Which book brought me to the brink, asking these questions?  Last Kiss Goodnight, by Gena Showalter.  Everything I have read, and the cover of LKG itself, proclaim this to be the first in a sizzling new series (the Otherworld Assassin series and it seems this is some sort of spin-off or something from her Alien Huntress series, but I’ve never read any of the AH).  But, like with many of the other folks who have read and reviewed this book, I think sizzling is a little misleading.  The author has every right to write what she wants and not write what she doesn’t.  But I think the publishers shouldn’t try to sell me something – when this book is clearly not what they claim it to be.  As a result, I really struggled with where to even categorize this series’ pages here on this site.  It’s certainly romance, because we are faced with the love stories.  And it’s alien, and I don’t usually separate out alien into another category, instead they usually sit in the PNR category too.  But, the steam, spice, sizzle, what ever you want to call all that juicy blush inducing stuff that is typically in the PNR books, and was in the start of Showalter’s Lords of the Underworld series (and not so much now – see my latest reviews) is not here.  Neither is her wit and dark sense of humor.

This book is missing so much of what made me read the first few Lords of the Underworld books without putting them down.  Sure, there’s some kissing and we know that eventually the characters have sex but it’s just not what it used to be.  And I don’t mean we need to have them together in the first 5 chapters.  But when I wait until the last ten percent of the book to finally see the couple in fact couple, I want more than one line and the inference of what happens.  And that’s really all we get here.

I will also note that there is significant violence.  We see Solo ripping a man’s throat out, we see Vika get repeatedly beaten, we see animals being senselessly tortured and we see emotional abuse galore (forcing a child to kill her prized lion).  And yet, the good, the love, is limited.  It’s a shame.

I read a few other reviews that talked about being hit over the head with the theology.  I admit, five chapters in I started skipping the bible verses at the beginning of each chapter.  So maybe that’s what helped limit the feeling of being preached to (and I have read a fair share of those – and hate them – so I would be honest if I felt that way here).  Don’t get me wrong, its obvious that X and Dr E are the little angel and little devil, feeding Solo with choices always trying to show Solo to be good or to convince him to embrace evil.  And good does prevail – as it usually does in these books.  But I didn’t feel like I was having religion shoved down my throat.  Although I can see where that perspective comes from.  I guess I just tried to continue to remember that Dr E and X were aliens, from Solo’s home planet too, and purposefully tried not to think of them as an exercise in religious theory.  The once or twice I felt like I was sitting in the pew at Sunday mass, I skipped to the end of the paragraph and intentionally moved on.  It worked for me.  Although, if this keeps up, it doesn’t bode well for my desire to purchase more of Showalter’s books.

What bothered me most about this book was the female lead.  I saw a review that pointed out Vika’s courage and strength – but I am not sure I see it that way.  Sure, she seems to be planning an escape.  And she seems to be willing to eventually follow through with doing it, but she is a doormat the rest of the book.  She gets abused over and over.  The dialogue is crappy – the pleading Vika does with her father… the conversations between Mata and Vika… the way her being deaf is convenient but so unrealistic – I know deaf people can “hear” music and sounds because of vibrations, but to actually be able to understand a conversation that you can’t see because you are underneath a trailer through the vibrations… please that’s just too much – none of this lives up to the standards I have set for Showalter based on previous books.

We had some good plot holes too – why Vika doesn’t feel the effect of a vow with Solo the way others do; why X knows from the start they are meant to be together; Vika’s ability to hide that she is deaf is way too perfect; how and why did the whole switching eye color thing work, and Solo becoming deaf and them then “sharing the ability to hear” at the end; what the heck to solar flares have to do with traveling and how the heck is that tied to black magic and the no lands; were those supposed to be zombies in the no lands… the list could go on.

I miss the author who wrote all the great dialogue, characters, plot, sex scenes and stories that were the start of the Lords of the Underworld series.  Can someone figure out how to get her back, please, even if we need to use solar flares?

UPDATE:   found the following on Showalter’s website about this new “series”:  “

Q: Will Dallas get a book?  What about the Otherworld Assassins series?

A: Right now, I have no more Alien Huntress or Otherworld Assassin books under contract.  However, Dallas appears briefly in Last Kiss Goodnight but has a bigger role in Black and Blue.  BUT.  I would like to write his happily ever after one day, one way or another.  Nothing is currently in the works, however, and I’m sorry for that! “

Sooooo… might really only be 2 books, which is really more like a book and a sequel, not a series.  But that’s just my opinion…

Not So Magical Magical Tendencies

I may have found it – the series that after only one installment it is too terrible to continue.  Typically, when I quit a series it’s because I get too involved in other books and I forget about the rest of a particular series.  Although when the entire series is good enough, that never happens.  But, sometimes, series start to fade away.  The installments become stale, the stories have stretched on too long, and the need to read the next fades into a memory and I just never get around to what is next.  And sometimes, when a series isn’t very good I read all installments anyway, for various reasons.

But… I may have actually found a series where I just don’t care to read what is next.  Which book, which series?  Magical Tendencies by Selena Hunter.

From Goodreads.com:

“Celeste Woods is happy with her life. But after one swift move by fate, a deliciously gorgeous man saves her from a demon attack and she learns that her life has never been what she had believed. 

After finding out that she is the queen of a supernatural realm with remarkable subjects, she wants to run away…and fast. But where would she run to? Into the arms of the incredibly sexy vampire, Solomon Ryker? Or back to the safety of her castle and her ex-husband, the handsome white warlock, Von Edwards? Or is there another choice to be made?

Celeste is torn between the past and the present–literally. 

During the twists and turns along the way to making it back to safety, Celeste meets shocking characters that leave their mark on her life. Namely Leonzio Emilio Castillion, the dangerously seductive demon king that has discovered her and now wants her for his own. 

What is a girl to do?”

Twists and turns abound.  Without really much else.  A series of twists and turns does not a story make.  A bunch of characters with not the best descriptions isn’t exactly magical.  And a story like this, without any real story should be a prequel, e-only, offering.  (And that should tell you regular readers how much of a waste I think this is – I am suggesting it be e-book only!)

We have Celeste.  Turns out she is a queen, of the Fae.  And she doesn’t know it.  Ok – I can deal with that.  Getting her memories back and finding out that Tish has known all along because she’s involved and she is trying to protect Celeste I can deal with too.  Even the story about how she does this repeatedly, that is, she has her memories wiped clean and she lives on the run I can live with.  Then, she meets the vampire and the warlock and in the past she gets all her memories back when she kisses one of them.  Each claims to be in love with her and each claims to be her destiny.

Then thrown in the mysterious Gabriel Running Wolf guy.  And the demon.  And all claim to be her destiny and that she will be the mother of their children.  So what we have isn’t a love triangle, but a love pentagon?  Sorry, that’s just too much to take.

Then, throw in what I hate more than anything in books.  Bad time travel.  Notice the adjective there.  I didn’t say “time travel” but “bad time travel.”  See, time travel normally makes my brain hurt.  But I can live with it, and the ensuing pain, when it’s done well.  And just because an author thinks of a story that involves time travel, doesn’t mean that an author does it well.  Here, we have a great example of that.

Celeste all of a sudden starts time traveling.  All over.  And impacting events without any care or realization that there are paradoxes to worry about when talking about time travel.  It comes out of nowhere, isn’t explained (the how or why), and fainting brings it on, maybe?  But her body stays in the present because she, to others around her, merely appears to be out cold.  So, how does that work?  You know what?  I don’t care.  Because it doesn’t work as far as a plot device, at least not as far as this reader is concerned.

The absurd just gets more absurd.  There’s a demon who kidnaps her.  And traps her and the vampire.  And he’s built some sort of world where a person can’t escape unless he gives permission (what the hell kind of escape happens with permission?) and he doesn’t give his permission, yet because of some other demon’s attack on the prisoners they escape anyway.  I can’t figure out how all that happened or what it was about anyway.

There is so much left unanswered.  And I don’t mean in a good cliff hanger kind of way.  I mean dropping the not subtle at all type of hints.  There is the question as to whether the color lavender, with respect to Celeste’s eyes, is important.  There’s the fact that Tish seems to have all the answers but after the first few chapters she never graces the pages again.  Kissing seems to bring back memories, but who does the kissing is important.  So, what is really going on?  All we know is that we are told the warlock has been running the kingdom since Celeste went away and everyone seems to be in love.  Celeste had a dream/vision where she had a child and that is remarkable because children aren’t all that common (Nicole Peeler influence?) in this world.  And everyone wants to be the baby-daddy.  And then the end, well, there really is no end.  It’s simply that the book has no more pages.  We get the introduction to everyone and then the book is over.

So, plot is shaky.  Twists and turns in the reveals of who everyone is and all the kidnapping and the vision stuff and the visit by Celeste’s daughter at the end.  But in addition to plot, the rest of the writing is really, um, not good.  The author has accomplished something that sounds like an oxymoron – she’s over descriptive and underdescriptive simultaneously.  She’s never met an adjective that she didn’t love.  And really, giving us the exact heights of the men?  Really, you can’t let us imagine what tall, dark and sexy looks like – you have to specify that it’s 5’11?  And, could you get an editor?  Please, please, please?

Let me give an example.  Here’s a description of Jack (one of her band-mates and apparently some type of royal guard too): “I snickered at that adorable expression on the 5’11” shaggy-haired musician.” Then, (and I counted to be sure) a mere four paragraphs later: “He’s a bit shaggy for my liking but he’s built like a Mack truck.  His body is amazing, having brushed up against him a couple of times… He stands 5’11” and he has gorgeous coppery skin that never seems to get lighter.”  How in the world did that not get edited – its duplicative and not helpful the second time around.  It needed to be revised or removed.  To show how height-happy the author is, we get no less than 4 more exact heights of characters – “Tisha stands about 5’3″ with a tiny little figure and a chest that would make a NFL linebacker beg for his mama, 32D I believe.  She has amazingly gorgeous blond hair that flows all the way down her back and touches her butt when she wear it done.”  And later, we get another character that is “about 5’11” and relatively short compared to Solomon and Von.  But Solomon is 6’2″ – which we are expressly told – and a 3 inch difference isn’t exactly huge.  That’s part of the danger with being so exact in height descriptions.  Do we need a thesaurus for gorgeous?  Is there not another way to describe an attractive person?

Besides all the point-in-time jumping and scene jumping, the writing is choppy.  The relationships described are too unbelievable.  Celeste kisses everyone, claiming to not like any of them, but is totally attracted to them (based on her shallow judgement of looks alone), yet she kisses everyone anyway.  There is a word for women like that, and I don’t like women like that in my PNR or mystery or paranormal what-ever category that this book falls into.   And the magic –  not so much of it as there is the time traveling.  And it all is just not very enjoyable.  So, I have decided that Ritual Magic, the second in what is at least a 6-installment (planned as the author says books 5 and 6 are underway), will never be a ritual that I partake in.

For those who are interested anyway, I am not putting a page up for this series, I will just list a few things below, including the titles of the books in the series so far.

Books:  (1) Magical Tendencies (2) Ritual Magic (3) Magic Isn’t Everything (4) When All Magic Ends 

Characters:

Solomon – Vampire.  Head of Celeste’s guard because he saved her back when.  He loves her.  He also built a beach house for her.  He seems genuinely like the good guy in the story.  Also a king in his own right as he was a prince who’s family died and he survived (being a vampire and all).

Von – Warlock.  He ran the kingdom while Celeste was gone.  He seems like the power hungry guy as he never before, when she disappeared, did anything but send others to look for her.  Celeste’s husband, but apparently they need to renew their vows through some ceremony every so often and they didn’t do it the last time.

Leonzio Emilio Castillion – the demon.  Who happens to be Italian too.

Gabriel – His parents and Celeste’s children promised them to each other when they were children.  He’a a Native American Indian Chief who says the fates say they belong together.  He mentions Celeste’s mother but not father and Tisha thinks this might be important.

Fifty Shades of No Imagination

This will probably be the shortest review I have ever written. And it’s going to cover two books! Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed were two books with so very little imagination it’s almost tragic. I noted in my review of the first installment, Fifty Shades of Grey, that while not great literature this at least was consistent with the type of stuff in the romance genre. The other two installments? Not worth reading the first fifty words of the second or third installments.

The author uses the same phrases over and over and over. By the time I was half way through Fifty Shades Darker, I couldn’t bear to read “don’t be mad at me”, “mine”, or “my fifty” one more time. And for “mommy porn” – with the reputation like this series seems to have earned, well, it was bordering on boring. The same phrases and lack of imagination was evident in the scenes that we’re supposed to be exciting. And the hard core that I expected based on all that I had heard, never really materialized. It just became boring to read.

So, if you are looking to rehash the same dialogue, the same arguments between characters, the same scenes, the same everything chapter after chapter, have fun. There are three books worth of it. If you are looking for something erotic and exciting and imaginative, I can give lots of other, better, and much more exciting book recommendations. The Fifty Shades Trilogy was Fifty Shades of not worth reading more than the first installment.

Fifty Shades of just ok.

The latest to get the Girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-watercooler-buzz seems to be Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James.  Apparently this started out fan-fic on some Twilight board or something.  And the author doesn’t deny it.  So, those looking to chastize for it being of that caliber good for you for noticing.  Otherwise, no one is claiming that she is the next Jane Austin.

Christian Grey and Ana Steele.  They meet at his office when Ana’s roommate, who arranged the interview and was supposed to conduct it, falls ill.  Because Ana is so unprepared for the interview, having not been well prepared with even a bio from Kate, leaves him with the impression that she is someone with a slightly different personality.  He is intrigued by her, and he is a Dom, looking at her as a potential Sub.  He introduces her to sex for the first time, and then tries to get her to be part of his BDSM world.  Along the way, between all the kinky and not so kinky sex, they fall for each other.  But they really do live in two different worlds.  Throughout most of the story, the big question is will she or won’t she try to stay with him, to sign his contract setting out the rules and demands of this type of relationship.  He says he will try to give her more – but, will they manage?

He has a sorted history.  He was adopted.  His birth mother was a crack whore.  And, it seems like she physically abused him too (or someone did) since he can’t stand to be touched.  And he has scars all over his chest.  A friend of his adoptive mother’s introduced his to the BDSM world when he was only 15 (Ana calls her Mrs. Robinson, and does point out the pedophile nature of the relationship even though he doesn’t see it that way).  And Ana is very jealous of Mrs. Robinson especially once Ana learns they are still friends and business associates.  Ana has met his family, and he has met hers.  Kate has all along thought something was fishy with him.  Ana struggles with her feelings for him, the arousal she gets from participating in certain things with him, and the little bit she knows of his background (which help her make a little sense as to why he enjoys what he enjoys).  But Ana wants more and she doesn’t like that some of what he wants scares her too.  He has certain stalker like tendencies.  And he has a list of rules – that he wants her to follow so he is always in control.  But the rules are a challenge for her.  Not just because she doesn’t understand some of them (and I had to google a few myself!) but because she has a sparky spirit that doesn’t like to take orders and be pushed around the way he pushes her.

The categorization as “Mommy Porn” is interesting.  I can see why it has been dubbed that.  (Although then I am left to wonder, is certain other stuff “Daddy porn”?)  Being a fan of the PNR genre, with JR Wards early installments of the BDB being some of my favorite, the explicitness in this book didn’t bother me.  Even the bondage we see is mild compared to what I was imagining after reading a number of other reviews.  I can’t say this is great literature, but what in this genre is?  And, unlike many of the other reviews I have read, I won’t slam the author for the character that is Ana because if you try to understand her, I think her indecision and then snap reaction at the end are really by products of her naiveté and inexperience, and the emotions that she was written with.  If she really was falling in love with the man, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to be so very confused and to want to find explanations for his behavior,  to try to see if she can change some of it, and to see if she can stand some of it. Especially once you consider the fact that there are emotions that come with a first sexual relationship too.  But the whole things was… just… ok.  Not great, not terrible.  A little exciting, not face-flushed inducing. Certainly not worth the embarrassment some have over reading it.  It was… ok.

Sure, the dialogue is cheesy but that’s the norm with all things in the Romance section.  Sure, the romance buds very quickly.  Sure, there’s some big dark struggle that’s looking like it could keep them apart.  And sure, there are characters who know our couple and who they really are and can recognize that they are in love before they do.  It’s not like the Romance Novel Formula doesn’t sell.  And if the formula bothers you, then the entire genre probably bothers you.  This may not be anything earth-shatteringly new or refreshing, but I would guess that’s exactly why it is so popular.  Everyone who purchases out of the romance section is looking for that formula.

I wasn’t originally planning on reading this.  But everyone seems to be reading it, so I picked up a copy.  It was ok.  But I am not sure I see what all the fuss is about either.  I will read the other two, because I am a sucker for series, even bad ones, and because one of the things that keeps this book from being terrible, is that I think the struggle Ana faces knowing Christian isn’t a devil, he’s troubled and disturbed but playful too when he lets he guard down, is genuine and real enough to make me curious as to what is in store for these two characters – to see if they can save each other.  The nature versus nurture battle seems to be shaping up with regards to the type of person Christian will be in the end, and I for one am curious.

Catchin’ Up and Totally Confused!

New pages!  Yippeee!  Added pages for the next installment of Vicki Lewis Thompson’s Wild About You series (#2 is Werewolf in the North Woods).  And the novella in between books 1 and 2 (#1.5 is Werewolf in Greenwich Village).  Added the details about the latest in the Lords of Deliverance series (#2 is Immortal Rider) to that page.  And working on trying to add all the details in the LOU next installment Darkest Surrender.  That one is taking a little while since the plot points abound in that book…  enough so that I think I might need to re-read it to accurately get all the info on the page.  It really was the best in that series yet!  Then there is the Witches of East End new page.  I know, I have a lot of catching up to do since I am sooooo behind on the books I have read the last two months. But… hope the new pages and reviews help.  Happy reading!

To wet your appetite, here’s the review for Witches of East End, Melissa De La Cruz’s (attempt at a) first “adult” series.

The first few chapters of Witches of East End, Melissa De La Cruz’s (attempt at a) first “adult” series seem promising.  We meet three women who, we don’t know why, aren’t permitted to use their magic.  They live in this town where something is clearly different on Long Island.

While we get a few adult scenes they were neither necessary nor well written.  The author tried to squish way too much into this series.  Not only do we get the close look at the adult scenes (which are disappointing comparatively to other authors in the PNR genre – even to authors like Nicole Peeler who sits in the SciFi genre with a tilt towards the adult) but we get a few scenes with Mimi force and the Blue Bloods from that series.  Which if you haven’t read the Blue Bloods would be awfully confusing because the author clearly assumes the reader knows things about that universe (and I quite a few books ago so I was confused by what Mimi was asking and why).  But, then, when we start to find out some of the details of the ladies’ story it gets even more confusing.  We are told that they are goddesses.  But witches.  They need wands but are all powerful goddesses?  The yggdrassil and Norse mythology is at play behind the story and all the happenings but the potions and workings of witches is how their powers manifest.  It was confusing.  I think she tried to find a unique take on magic and witches – which isn’t a bad idea – but it was too much.  Just way too much.  And too predictable.  That Ingrid’s secret partner was her father could be seen almost instantly.  That there would be more to Johanna and her husband’s split – same thing.  Of course that Bran and Killian would be other than what who we thought was also so very apparent.  To tell us that the women are stuck since the collapse of the bridge – but not explaining the bridge until 80% through the book was just frustrating.  It wasn’t clever or motivating or enticing – it was just frustrating.  I hate reading a book where my thoughts are “I need to finish just so I can figure out what the hell the author is talking about”.  Clever and subtle foreshadowing is a different story – that works and makes me want to read more.  Here, I just didn’t get that.  I am also not sure that the Norse mythology that is used is twisted well enough to make the story feel like anything more than a boring – and failed – attempt at a genre that this author might not belong wading into.  Throughout most of the book, I was totally confused.  And by the end, I was totally relieved it was the end.

Under the Big Top of the Night Circus

The smell of the popcorn and caramel apples, the sweet melody of the music, the thrill of waiting to see the tight rope walker or the animal trainer facing off with lions…  the cacophony of the crowd as it “oohhhs” and “aahhs” in amazement at the next unbelievable feat to be performed…  The promise of the thrill of this black and white circus was so exciting.

Unfortunately, while the setting itself lived up to the wonderment of a circus dubbed “Night Circus” (by Erin Morgenstern) the plot and some of the characters were so one dimensional that they couldn’t hold a candle to the electricity of the circus itself .  

The premise was excellent.  Two master magicians in a fierce battle where the weapons aren’t guns or even wands, but other magicians that they will train.  The battlefield isn’t really a fantasy world, ministry lobby or arena, but an artfully crafted circus, which itself is a bit of magic.  We don’t get the rules of the competition until very late in the game.  And there are so very many players in the game – more than just the two magical gladiators chosen by the magicians pulling the strings – despite what the magicians involved believe.

Having read an interview with the author where she noted that she is not good with plot, my first thought was “no kidding” and then “she should probably have kept that to herself.”  The descriptions were beautiful and vivid.  I could read a sentence or two describing the circus or the tent within it, and close my eyes and see it in such exacting detail.  But, the time jumping and the character/relationship development was so light it didn’t move the plot along very well.  In addition, I looked at the page count towards the end of the book and wondered where this great battle was.  The synopsis promised a battle, but that’s so not an accurate description of the interaction.  In fact, the characters begin building illusions/tents for each other – for each other to work off of and to inspire each other.  That’s not a battle in my mind.  I really think that these publishing companies don’t have the people who write the snyposes (ok, I had to look up the plural form of that!) actually read the books before they write these.

Despite the let down that the lack of any real battle caused, the denouement was clever – the way the “battle” is resolved is satisfying once expectations are revised to not expect a winner of some epic showdown.

Suggestions for those reading this book:  ignore the time frames at the beginning of the chapters.  It is hard to track, it causes confusion, and if you simply ignore it and use your own brain to see where in the story the chapter logically falls, it’s a better read.  Also, don’t try to figure out why each of the characters are involved.  Some of them – we never really get a good understanding of why they are part of the circus.  If you just accept that they are part of the circus or will be, it’s a better read.  Don’t stress over not really knowing the rules.  We don’t get the rules of the contest until very near the end and in many ways, I am not sure we get all the rules anyway.  We finally learn how a winner will be decided but, without giving away any real spoilers, just know that the future for our love birds isn’t as dire as it seems when we do learn how a winner will be chosen.  And finally, if you are looking for more interaction between our competitors to have a better view of their love story, don’t look too hard – you won’t find it.  You just need to accept that they manage to some how spend enough time together and there must be enough of each other in the illusions that they build for them to fall madly in love.

It was entertaining, but not exactly the 5 star book that I was expecting based on some of the more credible reviews I read.  If you like the circus, this is worth the visit – the mental picture the author can build is worth the admission price.  And, if you are afraid of clowns, have no fear – it’s not that kind of circus!